im about as happy as oj after his trial
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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