There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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