i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
