so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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