That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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