Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
