Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize