ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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