Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
