How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
