wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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