He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
