They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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