very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
