You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize