your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
