I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
