Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
