It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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