Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
