don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
foreskin is a definite game changer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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