how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
As shirtless as possible
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
