Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
