We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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