i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
