this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
