I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
