I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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