Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
