Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize