totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
