I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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