Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
