You can't motorboat a personality
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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