Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
