I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
