i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
