My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
