careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
