If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
