dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
