I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
