Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
