the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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