i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
