Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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