Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
