her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
