i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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