My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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