How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
