We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
