no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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