I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
