God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
