Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
