My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
